This chapter has actually inspired me to write a book. It's been something I've wanted to do for a long time, but never really took the time to explore. In a few short sentences, Nicole Johnson has reignited my passion and, in my opinion, reinforced why books like this and groups like this are so very important in life.
"I have heard that it takes a new Christian about two years to forget what it was like to be without Christ. Hopelessness is replaced by arrogance. I didn't want to forget."
God calls us to be raw with him, even if only on paper. A journal is a perfect way to connect with God and with your inner self. It's almost impossible to write without reflection. Even stream of conscious writing usually reveals emotions or hidden thoughts that would have long stayed buried had it not been for pen and paper.
In Chapter 2, Madeline L'Engle reminds us to be honest, "as honest as the human being can be." I don't know about you, but this is a little scary for me. Not because someone might read it, but because it demands something in me that is rarely uncovered all the way. It's like a bare-bottom at the beach... sure to be laughed at and most likely to be burned. For me, that's scary. I wonder if I will challenge myself to step outside naked and open or will I cover up for comfort? What about you?
Nicole also asks us to inspect, or rather introspect, our growth by tasting. In other words, what's going in our journal? Yes, we are checking off many items on our to-do list, but what are we really accomplishing? Getting the laundry done or that stain removed from the carpet doesn't really add up to a life of significance in the long run, does it? We are challenged by the author to use our journal as a gauge, a growth-ometer if you will, to determine where our life is headed and who or what is really leading the charge. As I often find, it is easy to get stuck pulling the weeds, leaving little time to enjoy the flowers.
One of my favorite reflections is when Nicole realizes that she's being "polite" in her journal. I love that I don't have to be polite here. I may have to bite my tongue at work, turn the other cheek while maneuvering life, and curtsey graciously when someone steps on my toes... but not here... not in my journal. These pages are for me. They can't talk back, there are no consequences to my honesty, and they can handle the brutality of my real feelings. How exceptionally glorious to have an outlet in such a common tool!
Our author does note that it may not be easy to start journaling. After all, writing is not everyone's bag you might say. But she reminds us that journaling is just as much about listening as it is writing and that "He will meet us on the pages." What a powerful suggestion! I love the thought that I might one day bury my head into a few paragraphs, writing without distraction or mindful edits, and look up to read God's words on my page.
I also appreciate Nicole's warning to beware of the "tear-me-downs." Those vicious little creatures that live in the shadows of your thoughts, but always seem to be ready and waiting when quiet time comes to call. She tells us to write it all down, to not fear these destructive little beasts. Instead face them head on and recognize them for what they are, worthless worry-mites that no more determine my value than the checkout stand magazine quizzes that try to rate me in every way from my body to my marriage.
Lastly, we are encouraged to embrace our creativity. Many people think that they are not creative, and even feel "on the spot" when placed in situations requiring creativity. Fear not, the defeat of the "tear-me-downs" can often bring to life the "ah-ha" bugs. Unlike the former, these little guys are on your side. They remind you of blissful days and then help you paint those days in a colorful language.
Though it seemed a chore at first, I have been freed by stepping out of my head, silencing my editing button, and putting my pen to paper. Will you join me?
-- Heather
